Assalamuallaikum


Hi there,
How’s your life? Wish you okay.

Well, I am in rush bloody stress hours. Not look like an angel. I always have not alot of sexiest dreams. Dreaming that I can sail around the world with someone loves me much muaaacchhh. Making stories with you only. Then, being a wife and a mother of your children. Going to make a lil’ family. In short, I am a cool dreamer. *oops* Lately, my days changed. Totally not wrong if people thinks that I am a lebay gal. Yap, no offense about it. I admit. So, please let me tell something called confession. Let me introduce my (really) myself. *weak bow* What is it? First, I am an ordinary girl. Just really ordinary! I can smile with nothing. No causing. Crying when you tell about what life love is. Yess, I can cry suddenly when see romantic movie. Or becoming shy when somebody saying “Hey, . How beautiful you are!“. *really?* Second, I am lil’ shy in telling what I want. I prefer write what I feel than show it. But, truthly I am not a shy girl. Just can’t say when I meet somebody that steal my deepest life! My lips’s totally freezed! Stuck. *hate* They say, “speechless niyeee“. Third, last but least, I am totally sensitive about who people that love my love! *headache* Well, make it simple. I am a very very very jealousy girl! Urgh, parahnya saya. I can kill any people named ‘woman’ in da world who wants to steal my love it’s you from me. I can be a murderer if you need. Easy, it’s just my dream. Still kinds of my bad side. Deal? I am totally woman! Even people always said “Talking with u just like talking with a guy. She has a quite thinking like a man. Thinking or responsing problem logically“. Well, thanks for it. But, again I am still a girl! *hit* Need understanding more than you do, man! Oh, man. I am just telling what really you supposed to know. *please!* I wake up this morning with no smile. Why? Simple answer, I’m sad. Can’t feel what must I feel. Can’t touch what most I want. And, simple again. I just cry! Remember that you’re not allowed tobe in my dream! *sigh* I do not hate it much. Bloody hits me! I scream loudly in my heart. Why? What happen in me actually? *sigh* Oh, that’s me! What a strange girl, huh?

Jumat, 08 Maret 2013

For Your Sake Only

I want to love only for the sake of Allah
So how could I be so vulnerable to this fella?
My head tells me that he’s not the one for me
Cuz I always imagined it would be me doing the choosing so how could this be?
That such an ordinary brother can sweep me off my feet?
My ideal so lofty and sunnah strict
But my heart keeps skipping beat for beat
I can’t help but feel flattered by his compliments so sweet
I lower my gaze and keep turning away
But somehow our paths keep on crossing anyway
Ya Allah what kind of a test have You sent my way?
I have no right to question You but what can I say
I feel like I am on a rollercoaster of emotion
Excited, frightened
Oh so much confusion
Shaitan’s illusion?
Is his admiration true?
Does he really care for the deen like I do?
Or
Is he just playing with my heart?
Cuz I don’t want to get hurt and fall apart
All I should do now is pray
Ya Allah me guide through this - You show me the way
If he be good for me and my deen
Then make it easy for me
Otherwise turn him away from me
and
Make me contented with Your decree
Whatever happens don’t let this muslimah lose her dignity
I accept that You know what’s best for me
Please preserve me
Ameen
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